The Rewind Technique

 

Three-year-old Jack is sitting by his mom at the restaurant while she talks on the phone to her husband. As soon as his mom hangs up the phone, Jack instantly grabs the phone out of her hand and tries to open up games on it.

Mom: Oops. Let’s take a second to rewind and try that again. [gently grabbing the phone from his hands]

Jack: [screaming] I want it!!

Mom: The phone needs to stay right here while you rewind and try that again.

Jack: [sniffling] I have the phone?

Mom: I like that much better because you asked instead of just taking. But I’d like it even more if you used kinder words. Can you rewind one more time and see if you can find a kinder way of asking to use my phone?

Jack: I play on your phone, please?

Mom: Thank you, Jack. I like that choice much better because you asked nicely to borrow something that belongs to me. You may have the phone for 10 minutes.

 

 

Do you ever find yourself jumping to conclusions, thinking the worst when your child shows those unfavorable behaviors? I know that I have a hard time with that sometimes and might even be tempted to say, “What were you thinking?” when I see those behaviors that seem so obviously wrong to me.

But I have to remind myself that kids aren’t always choosing to act the way they do. Sometimes, it’s simply impulse and they deserve an opportunity to rewind and fix their behavior.

 

Can you remember a time when you could have used The Rewind Technique when your child’s behavior was less than desirable? Have you used The Rewind Technique in a way that was helpful to you and your child? If you feel comfortable, share your story below.